Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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