What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize