1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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