she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Who died my cat blue again?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
