worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Found your dick twin last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
