This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize