An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
