is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
