He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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