You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
