I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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