Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Tell her she can't have a vagina
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
