that's an acceptable place to lick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
