he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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