I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Moan for me like Helen Keller
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
