Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
