how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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