HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
