she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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