Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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