We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
