I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
