We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
