New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
