Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
