haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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