so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
