so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
