If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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