That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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