Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
