And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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