Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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