Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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