Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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