Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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