Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
