So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
