if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
