Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
