How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
