he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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