Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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