How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
