You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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