between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
