taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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