this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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