She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dicks are not precious.
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