somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
