Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
