dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
