That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
